According to a study published by the Department of Justice (DOJ), spouses who attempt mediation are generally more satisfied with outcomes than those who do not. The DOJ also concluded that divorce mediation is less damaging to future relationships between ex-spouses compared to litigation, which often causes lasting bitterness and resentment. Despite these potential benefits and many others, the success of divorce mediation is not guaranteed or automatic. In order to experience these benefits, spouses must approach their negotiations in a strategic manner. Divorce lawyers in South Carolina may be able to help spouses confidently prepare for divorce mediation. To discuss the next potential steps, consider calling King Law Offices at (888) 748-KING.
The Importance of Leverage During Divorce Mediation
Many effective negotiation strategies revolve around the concept of “leverage.” In simple terms, spouses can gain an advantage by determining what their exes want or need. Once a spouse identifies these “pressure points,” they can use them to achieve their own goals during divorce mediation. Of course, the opposite is also true – and spouses may want to avoid revealing their own needs and wants in order to prevent their exes from gaining leverage. If a spouse openly telegraphs how much they want a particular asset, their ex may be able to gain a significant advantage. For example, they may offer to let the spouse keep the family home – but only if they make considerable concessions.
Spouses must be careful not to commit blackmail or extortion when using leverage. In South Carolina, blackmail involves accusing another person of a crime, exposing embarrassing details, or compelling someone to do something in order to gain money (or anything of value). For example, a spouse might threaten to expose the adulterous behavior of their ex unless they agree to hand over the family home. Courts may see this as blackmail – a criminal offense. Due to the nonadversarial, cooperative nature of divorce mediation, it is best to use leverage in an ethical manner.
Understand the Difference Between Needs and Wants
According to the Program on Negotiation at Harvard Law School, a “principled” negotiation should focus on the underlying interests of each party – including their “needs, wants, and motivations.” When approaching divorce mediation, spouses should learn the differences between needs and wants. Although these two words might seem interchangeable, spouses can achieve more favorable negotiation outcomes by focusing on needs rather than wants.
For example, a spouse might “want” the family home – but what they actually “need” is a place to live. In the same way, a spouse might want to keep the convertible sports car – but what they actually need is a way to get to work in the morning. By learning to express needs rather than wants, spouses can achieve a sense of mutual understanding. A spouse might refuse to part with their precious automobile, but they will likely understand that their ex needs reliable transport. As a result, they might agree to hand over enough cash for their ex to purchase a new vehicle. These trades and buyouts generally become easier to facilitate when spouses express their needs rather than their wants.
Include Experts in the Divorce Mediation Process
Mediators often approach divorce negotiations with considerable experience in various fields. These might include law, child psychology, business, finances, and taxation. However, mediators may struggle to understand highly technical, niche subjects in divorce mediation. In order to approach these issues with a greater sense of mutual understanding, spouses may choose to bring certain experts into the divorce mediation. Although their function is similar to that of an expert witness during a divorce trial, these experts may help both spouses understand technical issues rather than favoring a specific party.
Child psychologists often contribute to negotiations during divorce mediation. Both parents might approach the question of child custody in an amicable manner, and they may genuinely want to determine how to serve the best interests of their children. The child psychologist may make various recommendations to limit the stress and psychological turmoil for children in a marriage. Another example is a tax expert, who may be able to help spouses limit tax implications of various settlements and deals. Each divorce is different, and various experts could prove helpful depending on the unique circumstances of each case. To plan for an upcoming divorce mediation negotiation, consider speaking with King Law Offices.
Consider Options for Acrimonious Mediation
Although mediation is often associated with amicable divorces, this process is certainly possible for resentful spouses attempting to navigate acrimonious divorces. Mediation is usually mandatory in South Carolina, which means even the most bitter spouses must attempt to resolve their differences behind closed doors. Bitter spouses with serious disputes can still recognize that mediation can be faster and more affordable than litigation, and there are certain negotiation strategies tailored to these difficult situations.
An obvious example is “shuttle mediation,” which involves spouses navigating their negotiations while in separate rooms. The mediator goes back and forth between the spouses, relaying messages, offers, and concerns. Shuttle mediation is easier than ever before with video messaging apps. With no direct contact between spouses, strong emotions are less likely to interfere with the negotiation process. Some spouses may find it easier to express themselves in private rather than being scrutinized and judged by their exes. Shuttle negotiation is also popular among spouses who have experienced domestic violence or abuse, as they may not feel safe being in the same room as their exes. Experienced mediators and family law attorneys can attempt to help spouses resolve their divorces in private, no matter what the circumstances might be.
Contact King Law Offices To Learn More About Divorce Mediation
Although spouses may learn about various negotiation strategies through online research, it may be difficult to prepare for divorce mediation without taking into account their unique circumstances. The most effective negotiation strategies should be tailored to meet the specific needs and goals of each spouse – whether they want to prioritize child custody, the family home, or spousal support. A divorcing spouse may wish to discuss their negotiation goals in more detail with a South Carolina family lawyer who has direct experience with divorce mediation. Consider scheduling a consultation with King Law Offices by calling (888) 748-KING.