When you started your divorce, you knew some sacrifices would have to be made. Specifically, you knew that you would have to share your child’s time with your former spouse. What you may not have counted on was that your child’s other parent would take action to deprive you of your rights to your child. Yet, the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC) reports that 4.1% of all child abductions reported in 2023 were family abductions, and 59% of Amber Alerts in the same year were family abductions.
Understanding what a parental child abduction is, the risk factors and signs to look for, and the steps to take to prevent it can be crucial to ensuring your child’s safety. Call King Law Offices at (888) 748-5464 to book a meeting with one of our experienced child custody lawyers in North Carolina, South Carolina, or Tennessee and learn more about protecting your child and your custody rights.
What Is Parental Child Abduction?
A parental child abduction, also known as custodial interference, is the unlawful taking, retention, or concealment of a child by the child’s parent or other family member that interferes with the other parent’s legal custody or visitation rights. These abductions often take place during or after a separation or divorce.
North Carolina specifically defines kidnapping in N.C. Gen. Stat. § 14-39 as unlawfully confining, restraining, or removing a minor under age sixteen without consent from the minor’s parent or legal guardian. Parents abducting their own children would be considered kidnapping under this definition. S.C. Code § 16-17-495 indicates that parents who take the child across state borders for more than 72 hours without notifying the other parent can be charged with custodial interference.
What Motivates a Parent to Abduct Their Child?
Every family dynamic is unique, and the specific reasons a parent has for abducting their child can be widely varied. However, the general motivation behind any parental child abduction is to deprive the other parent of having access to the child. This might be to gain an advantage in a custody dispute, to prevent an access visit from happening, to avoid domestic violence, or many other reasons.
The motivation behind a parent’s decision to abduct their child will matter to the court. If the child was taken because the parent genuinely believed the child was in imminent danger from the other parent, or there is evidence of child abuse, neglect, or domestic violence, the court may be less likely to charge the parent. Additionally, the child’s maturity may influence how the abduction is handled. For example, in international abductions, under the Hague Convention, the child’s objection to returning home can play a role in what happens next.
Risk Factors For Abduction
While some parents are quite skilled at deception and manage to abduct their child without any warning signs, most parents offer at least one or two risk factors, even if the other parent does not connect them to the abduction until later. That is why knowing what the risk factors are is critical to identifying them and being alert to a potential abduction.
While none of these signs are necessarily an indicator of trouble by themselves, if a parent notices the other parent doing any of these things, they should remain aware and consider taking action. If there are multiple signs, parents should consult with their attorney regarding their options for protecting their child. Risk factors include:
- History of Domestic Violence: Regardless of which parent was the abuser and which was the victim, a history of domestic violence between the parents can be a risk factor for parental abduction of a child.
- Abandoning Employment: While some people frequently make impulsive decisions that do not make sense, quitting their job without looking for or starting another can be an indication that a parent is planning to abduct their child, especially if they have rarely been prone to such impulsive decisions before.
- Custody Disputes: Not all custody disputes result in a child abduction, but if the parents have not been able to find a mutually satisfying custody agreement, the parent who is most unsatisfied with the current situation may try to abduct the child.
- Attempting to Obtain False Identification: If the other parent is trying to get fake birth certificates, driver’s licenses, state identification cards, or other identification for themselves and/or the child, this can be a strong indication of illegal activity. If not for child abduction, it may indicate identity theft or other criminal activity, and a parent should consult with their attorney to learn how to protect their child against whatever the other parent is planning.
- Selling Their Home Without Explanation: If a parent suddenly sells their home without an explanation (such as downsizing or moving closer to the child), and does not have a plan for what they will do next, this may indicate a plan to take the child and leave the state or the country.
- Strong Ties to Another Country: Parents who are from a foreign country and still have strong ties to that country may abduct their child and return to their home country. If the parent frequently talks about missing their home country, wanting to return, wanting the child to see it, and other comments of that nature, parents should be alert and take steps to ensure their custody rights are protected.
- Financial Preparations for Departure: Financial preparations such as emptying and closing bank accounts can indicate that the parent is planning to disappear, potentially with the child.
- Hostility Toward the Other Parent: Many divorced parents are hostile toward each other but still put the child first. However, sometimes this hostility, especially if it is not mutual, can result in parental abduction of a child.
- Unreasonable Concerns About the Child’s Safety: Being unreasonably concerned about the child’s safety can indicate that the parent is looking for a reason to abduct the child or to gather evidence and build a case for them to have custody.
- Selling Assets: If a parent begins selling expensive or large assets, this may indicate an intention to leave with the child. They may be selling the assets for money to fund the abduction, to get rid of things they cannot take with them, or both.
- Lack of Local Ties: If their child is the only tie they have to the local community, or one of very few ties, this may indicate an intention to abduct the child. They may intend to go somewhere where they have stronger ties to the community, or they may simply be trying to ensure that no one can help find them.
Understanding these risk factors can help avoid parental abductions by helping to build preventative strategies and assess risks.
How to Prevent Parental Child Abductions
There are several things a parent can do to try to prevent the other parent from abducting their child. Parents may want to consult with a child custody attorney at King Law Offices to learn more about the specific steps they can take in their case to protect their child and strengthen their custody rights.
Get a Clear Court Order
Most court orders address child custody by granting physical and legal custody. If a parent is concerned that the other parent may try to abduct their child, they should request additional clauses in the court order. Travel restrictions that prevent the parent from taking the child out of state, asking the court to hold the parent’s and/or child’s passports to prevent them from leaving the country, requiring supervised visits, or putting clearly defined start and end dates and times to visits, can all help reduce the chances of a parent abducting a child.
Enroll in Alert Programs
There are alert programs, such as the Children’s Passport Issuance Alert Program (CPIAP), that can alert parents to activity that may indicate the other parent is planning to abduct the child. By enrolling in these programs, parents can be notified when certain actions occur, such as their child being issued a passport. This is intended to give the parent time to contact law enforcement and their attorney to discuss their next step.
Document Your Child
Parents who are concerned about their child being abducted by the other parent should document their child. This can be done by having local law enforcement fingerprint the child, taking regular ID-style photos of the child (child facing camera, alone, in front of a uniform background) so that there is always a recent photo, and taking note of what their child is wearing each day. Some parents even use a Child ID Kit to register their child’s DNA in case of parental abduction.
Monitor Your Child’s Online Activity
Parents should monitor their children’s online activity to ensure the child is not giving personal information to strangers, but they should also monitor online interactions between the child and the other parent. In some cases, the other parent may only make subtle hints to prepare the child for the abduction, while in others, the child may be actively participating in their own abduction. Parents should read private messages, emails, text messages, listen to voicemails, and chats in games to see where the child is interacting with the other parent. They should also look for new “friends” who may be the other parent masquerading as someone else to trick either the child or the parent.
Supervise the Child Physically
Parents often have very predictable routines. School pickup and dropoff, bus stops, extracurricular activities, grocery shopping, trips to the park, and doctor’s appointments are all routine activities that parents engage in, and even after divorce, the other parent will often know these routines or have access to details about activities such as doctor’s appointments or sports practices. While parents often feel safe in these routines, if there is concern that the other parent may abduct the child, they should be more alert than usual and supervise their child more closely. These routine activities can provide ideal opportunities for the other parent to slip in and take the child without looking out of place, particularly if the child is excited to see them and goes along willingly.
Choose Caregivers Wisely
As much as parents might like to, they cannot spend every minute of every day with their children. They often need daycare providers, babysitters, nannies, or other caregivers to help care for their children. Whether it is a caregiver they have used before or a new one they are thinking of hiring, parents should carefully vet their caregivers. They should run background checks to confirm there is no criminal record and ask questions to confirm that the caregiver is not friends with or related to the other parent.
If the caregiver does know the other parent, ensure they do not feel any loyalty or obligation that might cause them to assist the other parent with an abduction. New caregivers should be provided a photo of the other parent and instructions regarding what to do if the other parent shows up unexpectedly (call the parent, call law enforcement, etc.). Parents should also update their child’s school with a new list reflecting who can pick the child up.
Educate Your Child
Teach the child their name, address, phone number, and parent’s name. The parent’s cell phone number, work phone number, and any other contact information are also important pieces of information for the child to memorize. The child should also be taught not to go anywhere with an adult who has not been pre-approved by the parent, and parents should stress to their child that this includes the other parent. For example, they might tell their child, “Daddy/Mommy is not allowed to pick you up from school unless I tell you they can. If they try, you should tell your teacher that they are not allowed to pick you up and to please call me.”
Gather Evidence of Child Abuse, Neglect, or Domestic Violence
The motivations for child abductions by parents are varied, and in some cases, a parent who abused their spouse or the child may abduct the child as a punishment to the other parent or to try to force the parent to re-engage in the relationship. If child abuse, neglect, or domestic violence played any role in the marriage or in the custody arrangements, parents should gather all the evidence they have. They can use this evidence to restrict the other parent’s custody, but also to ensure law enforcement understands the possible motivations for the abduction and what the other parent may be thinking, so they can handle the situation appropriately.
Consult an Attorney
While there are many things parents can do to try to prevent an abduction, not everything will be appropriate for a specific situation. Some circumstances may also call for unique strategies that are not commonly used. An attorney may be able to assist parents with determining what should be done in their particular case to prevent an abduction. They can also help the parent take action if they are concerned that the other parent is planning to abduct the child or if an abduction occurs.
What to Do If You Fear a Parent Will Abduct Your Child
Sometimes, a parent just knows the other parent is planning something. Other times, they may recognize the risk factors, or the other parent may be straightforward and tell them they plan to abduct the child. Regardless of the circumstances, if a parent suspects that the other parent may be planning an abduction, they should take immediate action. They should first contact an attorney to learn what actions might be most appropriate to their circumstances.
Often, when parents suspect an abduction is imminent, they will seek emergency child custody modifications to prevent the other parent from having any legal access to the child. They may also contact law enforcement to warn them of the potential abduction.
What to Do If Abduction Occurs
If the worst occurs and a parent’s child is abducted by the other parent, there are three steps they should take immediately. Law enforcement or an attorney may give them more to do, but these are the first three things they should do.
Contact Law Enforcement
As with any abduction, the immediate action is to call law enforcement. The parent should inform law enforcement that their child has been abducted, and provide as many details about when, where, and how as possible, including details about what the child was wearing. Parents should also explain that they believe their former spouse is behind the abduction.
Contact the NCMEC
The NCMEC can assist in a variety of ways, including offering emotional and legal support, distributing posters, coordinating with local law enforcement, and providing case management. If the parent suspects an international abduction, they should also contact the United States Department of State. They can also assist with child recovery.
Call Your Attorney
Once the parent has alerted law enforcement and sought other assistance in recovering their child, they should call their attorney. They will want to discuss options for changing the current custody order, and depending on whether the child was harmed, potentially a protective order or restraining order.
However, the parent may also want to discuss the charges that may be brought against the other parent for the abduction. In North Carolina, they may be charged with either a Class C or Class E felony, depending on whether the child was released in a safe place and was seriously injured or sexually assaulted. South Carolina considers custodial interference a felony if the child is not returned within 72 hours, but may reduce the charges to a misdemeanor if the child is returned unharmed within 72 hours. South Carolina may also bring felony charges for any threat or use of force. Tennessee may charge the abducting parent ranging from a Class E felony to a Class A misdemeanor, and it largely depends on whether the child is voluntarily returned.
How a Child Custody Attorney Can Assist You
From the initiation of a divorce or custody dispute through the finalization of orders, you may begin to suspect your child’s other parent of planning to abduct them at any point. A child custody attorney with King Law Offices may be able to assist you with getting a custody order that restricts the other parent’s ability to take the child, such as putting travel restrictions or clear dates and times for visitation.
We may also be able to assist you with getting emergency custody orders if you suspect a parental child abduction is imminent, and with emergency orders for the child’s return or changing custody orders once the child is safely returned, as well as pursuing legal action against the other parent. Call (888) 748-5464 to schedule a consultation and learn more about protecting your child from being abducted by their other parent or another family member.
